Reflection on Parenting

Two years ago I had the opportunity to speak at an 8th grade graduation ceremony. One part of my message to the parents of the graduates was to be a successful parent you need to know your child's friends and approve of them because you are who you hang out with. I was reflecting on that comment this morning and trying to apply it further to the Internet world we live in today.

Today parents need to educate themselves about social networking sites such as Myspace and Facebook. Most parents have never used these sites and do not understand the value, importance, or even point behind such sites. They do not know how to access them and lose track of what their child is doing on them.

I want to say first off that I love social networking sites I think they are a great way to communicate with friends, rediscover lost friends, share pictures, connect with musicians and other talent out on the web. I believe these sites have a specific value and that they are appropriate for anyone above the age of 13. I do believe parents should take an active part in their child's presence on the Internet whether it be through a social networking site or elsewhere.

How can a parent do this? You have two options, join the site your child uses (probably both myspace and facebook) or sit down with him/her and let them show you. Don't approach it from the "I want to snoop around" p.o.v. but from the "I'm interested in learning about these sites and how people use them."

Where do you go from here? Setup ground rules. Just like you have rules for when your child can go out, where they can go, who they can hang out with, curfews and such, you should have the same for the Internet and social networking sites. I am not going to give you the rules that will work in every situation, unfortunately parenting is not that easy and no such rules exist. I will give you some things to think about so you can develop your own set of rules that fits your situation.

Things to think about:

• Should you have your child's password to their email and networking sites, not to be abused and intrusive but as an issue of in case something happens to you this information may be useful.
• How late can your child stay on the Internet? Where can they access it from, family room, kitchen, bedroom?
• Open request policy that states you can use facebook/myspace if I can request that we sit down once a month or how ever often I feel necessary and we can look through your account together. This may help build trust and responsible usage.
• Who are their friends listed on these sites? Where did they meet them? If they have a friend listed and you don't think he/she should be on there make them take him/her off the list.

Remember that these sites are ways that friends can connect when their not together, a way for them to express themselves digitally, and a great way to share information (pictures, videos, writings). Just as you should know your child's friends and approve where they are going and who will be there, you have the same responsibility for their online presence. Yes this is new, but it is new to them also, they are only teenagers.